Where'd you get those peepers?

I had my lasik eye surgery last week. I've been wanting it for a couple of years now so this year when Hector's bonus came in, I went for it. My optometrist, Tanya, said I was a good candidate (natch) and referred me over to a lasik factory in La Jolla. After a string of consultations (ending with the in-house financial advisor) and ten pounds of paperwork to sign, I got scheduled.

I arrived Thursday at 1 pm, dropped off by Hector and my friend John, who then went off to eat at the beach while I was under the knife. First, I had a little signing party with the paperwork lady: yes I want both eyes done, yes I know there are no guarantees, yes I agree to pay this whopping fee even if I die on the table. As my reward she then handed me a 5mg Valium and I had to sign a form swearing that it was me who ate it. Now 5 mg is not very much Valium.
"Um, do most patients find that this is sufficient?"
She made some tut-tut comforting noises.

I was then shuffled from one tiny room to another and another- following, I suppose, the surgery queue to the back of the clinic. As I progressed I noticed that the patients ahead of me were becoming more and more loopy. They all had stupid, slack looks on their faces. I felt nothing. At the next-to-last room, a real live doctor came in to see if I had any concerns or questions before I got "prepped". Just one...
"Could I have another Valium?"
Pause...
"Well, I suppose you could have more but I don't really think you'll need it." You pussy. "It's intended just to take the edge off a little and of course you'll be numbed."
Very well. Oh the shame.

A perky-titted young nurse came in to put a hair bonnet on me and swab my eyelids with iodine. And before I could formulate a joke about going home with yellow eye shadow I was whisked into the "surgery", a big noisy room filled with clanking machines and spotlights and television screens. And a tiny little dentist chair just for me. On it I went, some icy drops from a nurse out of nowhere and then instructions from the deep voice of the surgeon.
"I'm going to talk you through it as we go."
Then my eyelashes were taped back, my eyelid was clamped open and a thick ring was pushed down on my eyeball.
"How's the suction?" whispered the Doctor to the nurse.
Suction? Are they sucking my eyeball all the way out of the socket?
Doctor: "The suction was better last time."
Nurse: "It's this machine..."

A little orange light appeared and I was instructed- nay, ordered to stay focused on it. A whirring noise as a circular cut was made on my cornea by a tiny wheel. (laughingly referred to as the "deli-slicer method" by Tanya)
"We're just going to peel back the flap now."
Things got really blurry. I heard some clanking as a laser reshaped my cornea, the "flap" was put back and presumably my eye was shoved back in the socket. I could see outlines and shadows of fingers batting around my face. Then the tape and all my eyelashes were peeled off. The clamp was taken off so I could blink, though I was a little hesitant to do so.
"Now it's on to the left eye!"

Ellis County Courthouse, Waxahachie

Waxahachie greets Starbucks!

It has happened. Joining the ranks of Chili's, Sonic, and the Catfish King, Starbucks has arrived in my hometown of Waxahachie, Texas- population 20,000 (according to the Chamber of Commerce)....

The new Starbucks is located in the entrance of the brand new Target Store out on Highway 77, just south of Highway 287. You know... it's right there next to the new Lowe's Hardware, directly across the street from Home Depot... about 500 yards from the Walmart Supercenter. I had three nonfat lattes over the course of 4 days and I intended to have another one my final day there but I was in such a fucking hurry to get out of town I raced past it without slowing down.